Was it All Worth It?

You go through life making mistakes and learning from them.

But after it all happens, do you still want things to go back to the way they were?

In the end, what you did and what you got, was it all worth it?

Sometimes I just wish there was an instruction manual to life. I hate this feeling right now. The feeling on not knowing whether what I feel is right or wrong.

Wasting My Life Away

Lately I've been lying around in bed too much.

I guess we can always just blame the fact that I'm ill and a sick person needs her rest. But its beginning to become a very bad habit.

On days when I don't have classes (which is most of my week), I'll stay up till 4am then I sleep till 4pm. And as winter comes, the sun doesn't really stay out long. Meaning I've actually haven't seen the sun in 4 days... hahahah. That sounds quite scary actually. Without seeing day and night pass before me, I lose track of days, of time passing by me. 5pm feels like 8pm, 8pm feels like midnight.. and so on. My parents are paying so much money for me to be in the UK, I should be using my time to the fullest, right?

Its not that I don't want to wake up. It's just too cold to get out of bed. Why would someone leave warmth for a day filled with such uncertainty. It's how I feel in your arms, its why sometimes all I want to do is hug you all day and never let go. I equate warmth and safety and comfort.

I don't know. I'm rambling. I should sleep, then and try and get some work done tomorrow. Even though I don't have classes, I should make something of my life.

Where are you, motivation?

Anger Rant: Protests

On Wednesday I went to the 2010 Demolition Protest on education cuts that are planned to be implemented.

Yeah, I’m all for education being affordable and all for people being given the right to study because of their hard work rather than their wealth, but seriously?! Breaking into Tory HQ, is that the best way to show you even deserve these government grants? Since WHEN has violence ever solved anything. Millions of years of war and we have learned nothing? Students storming into a building and breaking windows and stealing chairs is just reckless, immature and completely uncalled for.

Sure, I completely respect the idea of free speech. People are allowed to protest and show what they believe in, but causing random acts of idiotic violence really gets you no where. WHAT the HELL is going on in your bloody minds?! How were you raised that this protest against education cuts suddenly became this huge rave/bonfire night on who could destroy the most things?
Another thing, how did the police NOT see this coming? There are reckless children/”teenagers” with sign boards and a lot of pent up anger. You pass them straight across the path of the people they are protest against, of course they will do something. If they had foreseen this coming, none of this would have gotten so far.

Supposedly they expected it to be a peaceful protest because its organised by the NUS, but HELLOOOO hormonal teens looking for any area to release their angst. I just don’t understand. No matter how passionate I am about something it would never be in my nature to demolish other people’s property.

God. Are only the riots in Britain so ridiculous? I feel so unnecessarily angry at this. Ugh. Twats.

Haircut

I'm thinking of getting a new hair cut....

Something that I can maintain without having to cut it for at least 6 months.

Something that will not get in my eyes.

Something I can tie up and keep out of my face when I want to.

And something that looks good (obviously.)

So... ideas?

My hair is like this currently.

Yes. I know. Bad picture. hehe. but I'm bored :)

Sexy Smokers

I find smokers sexy.

Not all smokers, just the fact that a guy smokes can up their hotness factor. To me, anyways. I kissed a boy lately and even though he smoked and there was the smell of cigarettes, it was kinda hot.

We grew up with the image that smoking was cool. Then in school we were taught smoking wasn't cool. Everyone knows smoking kills, and yet people smoke. We aren't afraid of death. Maybe that's what makes it even cooler.

I see a hot guy leaning up against a wall. He takes out a cig and lights it. Auto even hotter. It’s a bad trait and yet I can't help but not see it as a turn off.

I'm such a child. I still go for the bad boy. I still go for that rebellious leather jacket wearing hottie. I still go for that boy that I know will hurt my already fragile heart.

Heh. I think the risk of getting hurt just makes it all the more thrilling ;)

I still have the mind of a 18yr old sneaking out to see her boy without her parent's approval.

Come boy and blow smoke rings around me.

I'm not dead, yet

I haven't blogged because nothing has happened.

I'm back in Malaysia. Since June. I'm working over the summer as a trainee in a public affairs department. It's ok. Better than doing absolutely nothing around the house.

I'm getting fat though. Shirts that I bought in June now have tight sleeves. Not good.

I'm going to get rid of the flab before I go back to London!!

Going to exercise my triceps every day from today till I leave. Hope there's some results.

After that, the next target will be my cellulite thighs. haha.

Anyways, I'm suppose to be up in 6hours. Off to bed :)

Screw it

And no matter how hard I try, I still can’t get over you.

Amsterdam and Wiltshire

So Easter is over, unfortunately. But I travelled alot this trip :D

Amsterdam
Day 1: Arrived at 10am, checked in, free walking tour, coffee shop.

Day 2: James joins us. Breakfast, sex museum, visiting the ‘I Amsterdam’ sign, smart shop, then coffee shop.

Day 3: Check out. Tried to go and sign up for the free canal cruise, but boat had been broken for over half a year. Walked around, going to every tourist souvenir shop along the way. Went to a random coffee shop for a space cake each. Went back to hostel, had a joint. Bus ride back. Ellie catches the flu…

Tada. That trip was definitely totally tripped out ;)

A week later, me and Melissa made a trip to Salisbury with James as a supposed “study trip.” Tho we definitely didn’t actually get much studying done. Pooh.

Wiltshire
Day 1: Arrived at night. Settled down. Had dinner made by his mom. Watched Chocolat in his room.

Day 2: James showed us around his land. Had lunch made by James. Attempted to do some work. Left Mel at home and Ellie and James went out to do some exploring in town. Dinner was a joined effort by all three of us: steak and fries :)

Day 3: James needed to go to the dentist. Explored Salisbury a bit, then Stonehenge! Later went to Tisbury to visit James’s childhood friend. Stopped at Britford on the way to pick up another friend. Stargazing at night.

Day 4: Stourhead, then back to London :(

This was a very scenic and relaxing trip. Was really sad when it ended :(

Yes, as usual I’m procrastinating an essay. Hmm.. I think I shall put off the essay even more and go have dinner. Keke.

Enjoy the picture post :)

Updating Finally

I apologize for abandoning you, dear readers, for so long. Life has been hectic and annoying. And honestly, I just haven’t been in the mood to write anything.

So what’s happened in my life since… well, it feels like Spring is almost here. I was sitting by the tube and just staring at the blue sky and it was just so nice. :))

Gorgeous, innit?

On other news, i melted my keyboard. XD I left a piece of nail polish remover cotton pad on it for about two nights, and when I got back, the keys were melted and stuck to the cotton… Uhh… haha at least they still work, but the keys are completely ruined (as in, not smooth and nice to touch anymore.) I think my backspace key has a whole in it too..

I’ve been kissing alot of random people lately. I wonder if you can catch anything from that? …

Lookie!! Red hair tips. I dyed my hair for the first time ever. I highlighted the tips red, its barely noticable unless under bright light or something, but its there. lol. I didn’t wanna dye my whole head cuz it might mess up my hair roots and what not, so I just did the bottom bits.

Okayy… So as you can read, I’m not really in any blogging mood.

I just came back from a drug-filled trip in Amsterdam where I had truffles, weed and hash >.<” On the way back I caught the flu and I’m so sick. I’m nauseous, feverish, coughing and running nose. Oh, and I broke my glasses. Whee~

I hate being sick. Someone END THIS MISERY.

Amsterdam pics all in Melissa’s camera. Will post them once I get them :)

Foam Madness

Went to the ReFreshers Fair at SeOne last Friday. It was awesomeeee!! There was a VIP room with hottubs and stuff (tho we didn’t get to in there) and a foam cannon that shot out blasts of foam. It was so fun playing around in it, though it did smell quite weird. The room was so jammed with people that the air was actually quite stuffy and suffocating.

The music playing was quite shit. I now learn that I do not appreciate drum and bass. Nor do I know how to dance to it. I prefer proper R&B and Pop and Trance and just.. good music.

Then after the rave (cuz we had no where to go at night), me and Ji went to Angel where she learned mahjong and later we played mahjong and poker till 1pm there. :) I really miss those days when I’d go over to Angel and we’d have house drinking sessions or mahjong nights. We played poker after mahjong when Ji was really tired and went off for a nap. And I won all the chips :D Hehe. Beginners luck. I won alot during mahjong too! :D Like three times in a row. :P

I wanna play again soon. Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Only playing mahjong with the Angel people is fun :(

Overload on Pasta

Felt so sick yesterday. Had wayyy too much pasta in me. When I got home from dinner, I tried to sleep it off but I couldn’t. My stomach was going to explode. Took some medicine and ended up throwing it all up. I wonder if this is how an anorexic feels when they induce puking. Wanna see a pic? LoL. Kidding :) I was disgusted just seeing it myself >.<”

I started the day by waking up and eating a whole bag of Chilli Heatwave Doritos, then I had two bags of Tesco Instant Couscous. That’s proportionate portion to a four people sharing meal. By the time I finished that it was about 3ish. Then at 7pm, went to dinner at Zizzi because they had a £1 deal. I had this linguini with tomato sauce and prawn. Then a tiramisu for dessert. OMG. I swear, when I got home. I just felt horrible. Already, as we were walking to the restaurant, I was still burping couscous =.=" Sighh. Never doing that again.

I still partly feel like i want to die… but I need to be in uni in about an hour because we have a magazine group meeting.

For the past few days I haven’t been able to sleep past 8am, no matter how late I sleep the night before. It was so annoying, especially since my friend was over for the weekend. I’d wake up early, but as not to disturb, I’d just have to lay there and resist temptation and not wake them. Today however, I managed to sleep till 8:30am. Woohoo? Well, step by step. :)

Btw, I’m obsessed with John Mayer’s album Battle Studies. :D Especially this song:

Isn’t it awesome? The rest of his songs are just as nice. :D Go buy his album~ Or listen to it on Spotify, which is what I do. hehe.

Dinner Tray Sledding

I’m finally done with my two HUGE essays :) Ahh… can finally breathe for awhile now.

The weekend before, Lissa got back from Malaysia and we thought to go and enjoy the snow. We went with some of her friends to Primrose Hill on Saturday and used plastic bags to slide on the ice XD

On Sunday though, we convinced the Angel gang to come down with us and she went and stole some of her hall dinner trays for us to use to slide on. At first we covered them in plastic bags to slide down, but later we discovered its much faster if we just use the dinner trays.

Alex did some pretty daring stuff and we ended being the hill’s spectacle. Pity on Sunday the main ice hill had melted and became a huge mud slide. During the end me and melissa tried it, but its was too fast and I ended up losing the tray underneath me. XD And when I tried to stand, I couldn’t and I kept SLIPPING. >.<” Luckily I had Alex come to the rescue to save me. Hahaa. I was covered in mud on one side of my leg. It was too cold and I completely forgot to take a picture of it. But later when I was wiping it off with a cloth, I got her to take a picture of it for me. When she sends it to me, I’ll upload it :)

I think winter is gorgeous, don’t you?

My next thing due soon is a critical evaluation due next Thursday. Sigh.. Guess I don’t really have that much time to relax. Heh. But I’ll do my best to have fun while I’m still free ^^

I’m in the mood for sushi. Hmmmmmm… Was suppose to go today for dinner but I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours and at 5pm i slept till midnite. Hence why I’m still awake at 5am now. Haha. My inner clock is really gone.

Well… should I try to sleep or should I Dragonica? ^^

Love of My Life

I should be essaying. As usual. ^^

I downloaded PhotoScape a few days ago. Been playing around with it. I’d just like to make a shoutout to my best friend. She dedicated a post to me on her blog and I’d just like to return the favour. :)

Awesome-ness!! Hehe. PhotoScape was defo a good download ^^

University starting on the 25th. I wanna go clubbing before it starts again. Who wants to go with me? :D

Procrastinating Again (as usual)

I have two essays due by 14 Jan. >.<”

I have written ZERO words for both essays. Yay~ sigh.

I’m home alone enjoying the silence of everything and there is someone online who keeps wanting to come over and destroy my peace. I think I need to find someone to tell him firmly “no.” =.=”

Its so cold in my house. I’m saving money by not turning on the gas. But my hands are so cold that my fingers feel swollen and its like they’re slowly freezing as its becoming a greater effort to move them as I type.

So how was everyone’s new year? I celebrated it with Ji Hoong and her friends at the London Eye. :D

The first Malaysian I met in my university <3

New Year fireworks at London Eye

What’s everyone’s new year resolution? Mine is to:

1. stop getting myself into shit
2. stop leading people on
3. get a job (even if not course related)
4. get him or get over him

Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?

I need a hair cut. My hair is too long. Went shopping with Ji the other day. Tried on a jumpsuit. Haha. I’ve always wanted to try one on. They really don’t suit me :P From River Island.

Doesn’t look good, rite? Lol. Maybe one day I’ll find a jumpsuit that’ll suit me. :P I saw a really nice one in Esprit, but even after discount, it was unaffordable. >.<” Oh wouldn’t it be nice to have all the money in the world.

Gah. I’m hungry… need to scavenge for food and then start my work. Oh, woe the student life.